Over 96% Of Hyderabadis cannot complete a sentense without “Nakko, Hau, Hallu, Kaiku and Kate”
He goes to Gas Station to fill and says: “Panch Point Single Oil Dalo”
He says (“abbi aataun mein”) and vanishes for couple of hours or not come back at all.
Sleeps around 1 am and wakes only after 9:30 am
He drinks half cup tea atleast 6 times
Buys only one Gold Flake cigarette
If they do not eat rice at least once a day they will die.(Nothing other than Rice is considered as a meal)
For them the only good dishes on earth are: Hyderabadi Biryani, Nahari, Haleem, Marg, Khatti Dal, Tamatoun ka Sherwa, Bhendi ka Sherwa, dhai ki kadi, palak ki bhaji, gawar ki phalli, alu baingan, keema alu methi, khagina, khichdi, pyaz ka anda, papad, boti ka salan, khadi dal, murghi ka khorma, baghara khana dalcha, Til ka Khatta, mirchiyan bhajiye, khubani ka mittha, kaddu ki kheer and fruite salad.
New Generation (males)
They consider “Kalyani Biryani as Hyderabadi Biryani” and atleast once in a week he will visit “masha-allah, bismillah, and other restaurants
2 out of 3 are “Sharukh, Amir, Salman, or Sanjay
He feels offended if someone looks at him (Kaiku ghoorra miya?)
They only want to become an “engineer, doctor, MCA or MBA”
Most of the Boys spends their precious time at “gali ke nukkard, Café, girls college, playing billiards, riding bikes, chatting on internet, teasing girls, changing mobile phones and spend their parents hard earned money.
New Generation (females)
Stanley is the only school and college for girls from Old City.
Begum’s is the most preferred beauty parlour.
Most of them cannot live without going to “Tutorial”
Most of them would not like to put on the Sharara for the second time. Har shadi me naya sharara chahiye.
Most of them say ” main kapde Neeru’s our Meena bazaar se he leti hoon”
They are obsessed by Hindi Film Actresses.
Finding a Match
A team of one dozen go to see the girl (to eat and drink: pastries, bananas, mixture, fruit biscuits, etc)
When they return home after seeing the girl, someone from the family says “badi se manjhli ke aank nak ache hai”
If they want to reject they say “Ladki ka khad kam hai. Hamare bache ki height achhi hai (5.6)
They say “Ladke ku Family Visa bhi hai” (even if he makes 1600 riyals).
They say Ladke ka Sheikh (kafil) bahut acha hai tankha badatoun bola shadi ke bad.
All matrimonial ads mention boys salary in “rupees” so that the amount looks big.
All most all ads say “ladki soum our sala ki paband hai’
All matrimonial ads. Say “shadi mein jaldi hai, ladki ke bhai bahar is aye huwe hain”
Advertisements some times clearly mention: “Ladke ku karobar bhi laga ke denge” or “Azad visa bhi denge” or “ladki ke naam pe jayezaad hain (200 gaz ka plot, makan ya phir flat”
Hyderabadi parents only look for: US/Canadian immigrants or Gulf settled – Deen ki nisbat pe rishte karne wale aaj kal bahut kam milenge.
Har kisi ku Gori Ladki Chahiye – Khud bhilaven ke jais rahta.
Har ladke ki Amrika ki koshish chalte rahti ya phir bhainoyi saudi ka visa bhejne wale hai. Landan ki koshi bhi side mein chalti.
Ladkiyoun ku pakwan zyada nahin ata – If you ask them why” they reply “Laad pyar se pale”.
Inter Fail ladke ku bhi graduate ladki hona
Finally Shadi Ke Din
Dinner invitation is known as “ration card” – if there is no dinner, a lot of them are disappointed, they say “kya jate miya auto ka kiraya dal ke, kheench nai hai”
Many still take “Jode Ki Rakham” (cash)
If you ask Dulahe Raaj, he will say ” mere ku nai maloom ammi aur abba ki badoun me baat huwi, main to nakko bola sheikh”
These days “Nikaah” takes place at Masjid, but the jahez (dowry) reaches goom’s home late night when neighbours are deep in sleep.
Men wear sherwani on “shadi ke din” and suit on “Valime ke din”(they think shewarni is the only dress for “Shadi”, and suit for “valima dinner”).
Invitations clearly mention that nikaah is at 7 pm but dulhe raaja arrives at 8:30, 9:00. 9:30.
Soon after nikah, people are desperately waiting for some one to announce “aaiye” – (call for dinner) because on his way to the function hall he will stop at a cool drink store and drinks 7up or pepsi (bhook khulne)
Pahle haleem khaleta, phir chicken, phir biryani, phir chicken, phir ublahuwa anda, phir chicken, phir chicken, and again chicken, phir ek katora furit salad, phir kaddu ki kheer, phir qubani ka meeta, and after eating all this he puts some “Dahi ki chatni in his palm” and starts licking it.
When he is done with food, he needs a cigarette or gutka and then the discussion on the quality of food starts.
Hyderabadis in Gulf
They love India and especially Hyderabad
Naya Naya jo bhi aata us ke purane phard dete. “kaiku aaye miya, kya hai yaan pe, khatam hogaya sab. Kurchan baqi hai, wainpe kuch bhi karlena tha”
Those who are working they follow a routine – Office, ghar, sleep, dinner, chatting with friends (+ aadhi chai, couple times), TV and go to bed)
They only buy used stuff. If you tell them to buy new or good quality furniture or appliances they reply “kya karna hai, apne ku kounsa zindagi bhar yahan pe rahna hai. India me ghar set karna, yahan pe nai qarach karna” and they stay here for almost half of their life – 25, 30 years and will not go unless they are kicked out.
You have to be really a true Hyderabadi to understand this…
When somebody tries to give big lecture telling people what is right and what is wrong:
“Khaali peeli dimaag kharab karra”
When somebody tries to be over smart:
When somebody asks address then whoever hears him asking the address comes near his vehicle and starts giving him direction:
“Woh jo pan ka dabba dikh ra aage uske baad 2 qadam pe ek galli hain, wahan left mudhiye, phir ek hajjam ki dukan aaingi, usku lagke ek galli hain, usme chautha makaan hain right ko. Peele color ki gate hai dekho”
Early morning in almost all mohallas of hyd there would be big sound of
“Cheeltay wale mauz, 10x rupiye dazan“
When some kid does not go to school and is seen playing by any adult of the mohalla
“Kya re es-school nahin jaake galli main goliyan khelra, thair tumhare baava ko boltaun sham ku”
Behind many autos “Maa ki dua“
“Rickshaw Tappa Chabutra chodh te kya.
4 rupie hote.
2 detiyu, chalet to bolo.
Kya Qala itne kam bolrai aap. Accha 3 rupiye de do.
Elderly people of the mohalla at hotel:
“Aaj kal ke potte, pottiyon ke dimaaga kharab ho gaye Abdul Bhai. Potton to subah sham cricket hain, pottiyon ko subah sham tv, gaana bajana bas yahi hain dekho. Sahin bolrain Khader Bhai, in logon ka kya hota ki aage, choto badon ki tameez hi nahin hain yeh laundon main. Apne bachpane main, badon ke samne topi pahne bagair nahin jaate the apan loga”.