Appraisal and its hidden meaning

Outgoing Personality……..Always going out of the office
Great Presentation Skills……………..Able to bullsh*t
Good Communication Skills…..Spends lots of time on phone
Average Employee……………………….Not too bright
Exceptionally Well Qualified….Made no major blunders yet
Work is First Priority…………..Too ugly to get a date
Active Socially………………………….Drinks a lot
Family is Active Socially……………Spouse drinks, too
Independent Worker………..Nobody knows what he/she does
Quick Thinking………………..Offers plausible excuses
Careful Thinker………………….Won’t make a decision
Agressive………………………………….Obnoxious
Uses Logic on Difficult Jobs….Gets someone else to do it
Expresses Themselves Well……………….Speaks English
Meticulous Attention to Detail…………….A nit picker
Has Leadership Qualities…….Is tall or has a loud voice
Exceptionally Good Judgement…………………….Lucky
Keen Sense of Humor………….Knows a lot of dirty jokes
Career Minded……………………………Back Stabber
Loyal……………………Can’t get a job anywhere else